"Bad Mom" Days

I'm human and make many mistakes. Lately, my folly has been losing my temper with my children. I'm not proud of this but it does happen. This seems to occur almost daily, from the hours of 4-7pm. Maybe it's because of Ron's longer work hours, or maybe it's just because I dread making dinner EVERY day, I'm not sure which but I had one particularly rough day last week. We had a wonderful day, filled with story time, playing games, and good naps. At about 7pm the boys were in the bathtub while I was getting Callie ready for bed. I could hear screams of excitment and lots of splashing. I had calmly warned them multiple times to stop and please just get out of the tub. The fourth and final time I went in to warn them I noticed Mason outside the tub and a "careless" mess on the toilet from him. It really wasn't bad but I lost it. I started yelling and demanded they both get out and get their pajamas on. As I was yelling I felt like I was having an out of body experience. I see the cranky scary mom and I tell myself to stop. But I don't listen to that voice... As I cleaned the bathroom with clorox wipes, and mopped the floors (not sure why I mopped maybe just to vent and take it out on the floors) I just got more and more disappointed with myself, I knew I needed to change but I didn't know how. As I agressively mopped Mason cautiously approached me with something in his hand. He then handed me a $5 bill. My heart melted and I asked "What is this for?" He replied "Because you were mad." I think that was his way for making amends and apologizing for his actions. I of course took him aside hugged him and we talked about all that had happened and returned his "tip" to him.
One of my personal goals is to work really hard on not raising my voice with my kids. I am grateful for the Christlike love and forgiveness that my children show me EVERY day.